Cards Against Humanity Saves Baseball

Congratulations! America has been saved! Donald Trump is no longer the president, and the Republican Party has retreated to its secret volcano lair. Now it’s time to kick back, crack open a cold one, and enjoy America’s pastime.

For the final day of Cards Against Humanity Saves America, we really “hit it out of the park” by purchasing the naming rights to a minor league baseball stadium in Joliet, Illinois. Kindly remove your caps and stand — no kneeling! — for The Cards Against Humanity Baseball Place, the new home of the Joliet Slammers!

The Team

Here come your favorite boys!

The Season


Frequently Asked

What is baseball?

Baseball is a bat–and–ball game played between two teams of nine players each who take turns batting and fielding. The batting team attempts to score runs by hitting a ball (that is thrown by the opposing team’s pitcher) with a bat swung by the batter, and then running counter–clockwise around a series of four bases: first, second, third, and home plate. A run is scored when a player advances around the bases and touches home plate.

Is this real?

Yes, you can go to Joliet and see the stadium right now. Here’s a local news article about it.

Why are they called the Joliet Slammers?

Joliet was once home to a huge prison filled with criminals!

What’s your favorite part about baseball?

The songs, the running, the hot dogs, the big beers, the whole thing. It is the best sport of all!

Those baseball boys are hot hot hot! Where can I get a piece?

Do not fondle our baseball boys.

I think it’s impressive that you guys pulled off “Prongles” without getting sued.

Hey, thanks!

So, what now?

Well, we did our best to address all of America’s problems in purely symbolic terms, so…I guess we’re done.

I don’t know what to do. What should I do?

Come on down to the Cards Against Humanity Baseball Place! Crack open a cold one, swallow a hot dog, and watch the Slammers dance their beautiful baseball dance.

Who’s your favorite Slammer?

Definitely Melvin “Kind Eyes” Rodriguez. What a dreamboat!

I really enjoyed Cards Against Humanity Saves America.

I love you.

Baseball! Wow.